View Full Version : So much for me getting back into this hobby now..


mapleredta
03-24-2008, 7:24 AM
My girlfriend and I of 4 1/2 years split up over the weekend and she moved out of our apartment. So that means i have double the bills and wont have the money to even think of trying to set up a new tank. Seems like everytime something good starts to happen, something bad comes along and throws a wrench in the gears. Oh well, cant cry over spilt milk (aint that what the saying is?) Yall keep me in your prayers, this is the first time ive ever felt depressed. I feel sick.:sad:

flyingarmy
03-24-2008, 7:29 AM
Chris...sorry to hear about the breakup. Just remember, things happen for a reason. Sometime its not as apparent at first but over time you'll realize why it didn't work out. We have all been through it, some of us more than others. Let me know if you need anything, the ARC family is always here for you!

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 7:32 AM
thanks mark, i know this sounds kind of "middle schoolish" but shes always been around and now shes gone. Its weird sleeping in the bed by yourself.

purpleGORILLA
03-24-2008, 7:39 AM
That sux man. Flowers and chocolate? That always fix mine. Well maybe in the beginning. Since we have been together more than 10 yrs, she wants something expensive instead. :sad:

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 7:42 AM
I think we are long past flowers and chocolate, hell even dimaonds and new cars.

Atlanta Aquarium
03-24-2008, 7:56 AM
Sorry to hear that Chris. Yeah, start with the flower, if it doesn't work then go with the rock. If the rock doesn't work then you are SOFL. Good luck man.

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 7:58 AM
it seems like its been going down here hill for the past few months, i was the one who "changed". Like mark said, things happen for a reason. Sometimes it takes a door to close for another to open.

Derek_S
03-24-2008, 8:06 AM
Well, I cant give any advice, but I can say you may be surprised about having more money after breaking up. Yeah, more bills and rent, but less dinners out, flowers, yadda, etc. Just dont go on a drinking binge...kinda nullifies monetary savings opportunities... :(

But Mark is right. Everything works out in the end, and usually for the best. Dont think you're the only one that it hasn't worked out for. I dated a girl for 5 years, only to find out it would never work! Time will heal you, and maybe her too. Maybe just some 'away' time will do the trick. You'd be surprised.

RaisingTwo2006
03-24-2008, 8:07 AM
Sorry to hear that.. I'll keep you in my prayers!!

tnyga
03-24-2008, 8:18 AM
You have my number bro

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 8:19 AM
You have my number bro
thanks russ.

olds350racer
03-24-2008, 8:31 AM
Sorry to hear it, but as everyone has stated... usually for the best. Maybe we can track down a race to go to. Nothing like some fast cars to get things off your mind. :thumbs:

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 8:52 AM
Sorry to hear it, but as everyone has stated... usually for the best. Maybe we can track down a race to go to. Nothing like some fast cars to get things off your mind. :thumbs:
:D haha yeah ill take you up on that offer.

Victor626nj
03-24-2008, 9:00 AM
dude you are so lucky what i wouldnt give to be single again without any kids....... you are free ......now go find some fresh meat

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 9:02 AM
dude you are so lucky what i wouldnt give to be single again without any kids....... you are free ......now go find some fresh meat
:lol2: great way to look at it victor.

Derek_S
03-24-2008, 9:15 AM
Do you currently have a tank set-up, or is the 135 gonna be #1?

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 9:22 AM
Do you currently have a tank set-up, or is the 135 gonna be #1?
no i dont have it set up yet.:sad: i was supposed to pick up my 135 from sal next weekend. but i doubt thats going to happen now.

Derek_S
03-24-2008, 9:27 AM
That's what credit cards are for :)

But I was thinking, I dont know you like some of the other members here might, maybe if money is gonna be an issue, you can just set up something smaller for now, like as a grow out tank. Get some frags you will want for the bigger tank, and just grow'em up so they'll be sweet in the 135. You know, make cheap frags into nice colonies. Keep it simple? Just an idea. That's kinda where I'm going with my 29 gal.

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 9:32 AM
yeah i have thought about that but im still not sure. i think im going to try to pick up a second job just for the tank.

Barbara
03-24-2008, 9:43 AM
Chris, sorry to hear about your breakup. I hope you have some buddies close by that will hang with you or come over and visit. Time will heal you, but find something to keep your mind busy until it does. I certainly agree with the advice of not going on a drinking binge. Be strong. This too will pass.

Amici
03-24-2008, 9:54 AM
Chris-
Were about the same age and I just went through a MESSY break up last summer so I know what its like.....trust me I was just there. My best advice is two things:

1) Keep busy. You cant miss something or someone if you arent thinking about them because you are to busy. It was the only way I could keep from feeling sick and not being able to eat was to keep my mind off it.

2) Reconnect with some old friends. I cant tell you the number of people who get into a serious relationship and because you are spending so much time with them, you neglect to realize how many of your old friends you have grown apart from. It really helped me to hang out with my old friends and then see all the girls they hang out with and be able to say.......**** there are a bunch of hot single girls....This isnt so bad!

If your ever up in Athens let me know. Im pretty sure I could show you a good time and keep your mind off it.

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 9:54 AM
thanks barbara,

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 9:56 AM
:shades: thanks man, i might go out with some friends that i havent hung with in a LONG time this weekend.

Linda Lee
03-24-2008, 9:58 AM
Chris, I'm so sorry and I hope things look brighter soon. Don't leave the club -- lot of good folks here to keep you looking up.


you are free ......now go find some fresh meat

and a *thwaaaaaaaaaaap* for Victor (behave)
:slap:

Victor626nj
03-24-2008, 9:59 AM
dude you really dont know how good you have it right now .....oh god i wish i was in your shoes......you are so so luck ...now you need to find your self a set of twins...yeah that will fix everything right up:D

reefknight
03-24-2008, 10:00 AM
dude you are so lucky what i wouldnt give to be single again without any kids....... you are free ......now go find some fresh meat

Not to be cruel, and not to offend any ladies, but this is so true! As a person who "has been there, done that" I have to agree. A buddy of mine is going through the same thing with "WIFE" number 2, "CHILD" number 3. You don't want to know what his child support payments look like a month:wow2: .

Alot of the advice above is very true. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason (also in what goes around comes around, but thats a whole other issue ;) ) Things will improve with time.

You've got my number, use it.

George
03-24-2008, 10:00 AM
Sorry to hear this, Chris. Worse things can happen though. You could have been married with kids for 4 years and had it all break up.

I direct you to one of my favorite web comics for inspiration: http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20080322 (NOT work safe, unless you have a fairly liberal workplace)

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 10:04 AM
thanks for the advice everybody.

DrNecropolis
03-24-2008, 10:24 AM
Keep your head up, things happen and it will get better.... Always the darkest before the light.

purpleGORILLA
03-24-2008, 11:44 AM
Here you go man. Hopefully this will help to aleviate some of those incoming lonely nights!
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http://www.shockerstickers.com/store/images/DSC01465.JPG

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 11:45 AM
haha.

tnyga
03-24-2008, 12:22 PM
dude you are so lucky what i wouldnt give to be single again without any kids....... you are free ......now go find some fresh meat

Your wife saw this shed castrate you

mapleredta
03-24-2008, 12:24 PM
Your wife saw this shed castrate you
Russ you might be able to get those new vortechs cheap now. Just forward this thread to his wife.:D

Stroid
03-24-2008, 1:18 PM
My best advice is dont talk to her! I just went through a ****ty break up 2 months ago and the worst thing I did to myself was continue talking to her and not letting things go. Once I went on my cruise and came back I made the decision to stay away and not speak with her my life has been much better and I feel independent and much stronger again. Come to ATL hit the clubs im there every friday and Saturday your young and single live it up dude!

Victor626nj
03-24-2008, 1:25 PM
Russ you might be able to get those new vortechs cheap now. Just forward this thread to his wife.:D
you are ungreatful i try to give you the best advise in the world and you post this ...forget it live in your lonley world...jk she did see it she started laughthing and said i was ****ed for the rest of my life .....word of advice dont ever get married

Barbara
03-24-2008, 1:31 PM
My best advice is dont talk to her! I just went through a ****ty break up 2 months ago and the worst thing I did to myself was continue talking to her and not letting things go. Once I went on my cruise and came back I made the decision to stay away and not speak with her my life has been much better and I feel independent and much stronger again. Come to ATL hit the clubs im there every friday and Saturday your young and single live it up dude!

I must say I agree 100% with this advice. Don't talk to her, and don't talk about her. When you get together with your friends, if you do want to drink and party, don't start down the path of "screw her" and all that stuff. Tell them you want to talk about the future, not the past, and don't wallow in hate or self-pity. Go chase a few skirts, have a good time with the boys and move forward with a smile and self confidence. Don't look back.

Linda Lee
03-24-2008, 2:19 PM
Your wife saw this shed castrate you

surprised Victor hasn't traded her for a couple of new clownfish...

olds350racer
03-24-2008, 2:31 PM
I must say I agree 100% with this advice. Don't talk to her, and don't talk about her. When you get together with your friends, if you do want to drink and party, don't start down the path of "screw her" and all that stuff. Tell them you want to talk about the future, not the past, and don't wallow in hate or self-pity. Go chase a few skirts, have a good time with the boys and move forward with a smile and self confidence. Don't look back.

Very wise advice. :up: Too many people fall into the "blame game" and/or self-pity after a breakup. The best thing you can do learn what you can from the experience and truly move on.

Mizah00
03-24-2008, 5:37 PM
Just hold your head up and come hang in the ATL for about a week and it will make u feel better!!!!!!!!

FutureInterest
03-25-2008, 12:39 AM
I hate to be the killjoy on your newfound bachelorhood... I understand that it's good to be single and young. Those were great times :). However, old and alone would suck if this girl turned out to be that special one that got away...

Considering you recently started a thread on how she was the "one for you" and that you felt lucky to have found your soulmate so early in life... You even posted happy pics of yourselves. I look at what you wrote earlier and see in this thread that you've invested 4.5 years of your short life into this relationship. Don't you think you might want to try to reconcile with her?

WILLIAM1
03-25-2008, 12:51 AM
Sorry man! Life is crazy..............Victor your down right crazy.

mapleredta
03-25-2008, 9:07 AM
Well last night was even harder than sunday night, I came home from a hard long day at work (russ knows all about the service and parts days at the dealership) and found almost all of her stuff gone buy a few piece of furniture that she cant move herself. I didnt know what to do with myself so i ended up going to buy a six pack of guinness. But that didnt help any.
Jin, my feelings for her still havent changed but i cant help the way she feels towards me. For the last month or two she has made comments about her not being happy any more, and that ive changed but ive done the same thing since day one. Ive tried to change but thats just not me. I really didnt even know what i was supposed to change but i tried anyways, she couldnt tell me what i was doing wrong, so i dont know. I dont think it would be fair to either of us to stay on the path that we were. I guess the only thing that i can do is remember the good times and take all the knowledge ive learned from being together and apply when i get into another relationship LONG down the road.
I really appreciate all the help, prayers, thoughts, offers to talk on the phone and private messages. Thank you again everybody.

LorenK
03-25-2008, 10:39 AM
It does suck to break up...but on the other hand I would say you are way to young to be settling down.

Hope it all works out alright.